


Jhiaxus, Megatron, and my begging for death

by gusherbug



Category: Transformers (IDW 2019)
Genre: Joke Fic, M/M, i literally got to the point where i refused to continue, this is dedicated to tumblr user meteorcrab, this is not a serious fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23435275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gusherbug/pseuds/gusherbug
Summary: jhiaxus/megatronhappy april first everybody
Relationships: Jhiaxus/Megatron
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	Jhiaxus, Megatron, and my begging for death

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my demise](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+demise).



Within Ascenticon headquarters, it was agreed it was the utmost importance that you did not just walk into Megatron’s personal office, lest you walk in on something weird.

Today, that rule was tested by Megatron’s overly verbose plans.

  
“Lord Megatron, I regret to inform you Flamewar has infected the mission consoles with another virus advertising women with massive chestplates-“ Strika paused as she entered, holding an arm to pause her companion’s entry as well, “...Have I interrupted something?”

The room was empty, as if Megatron had personally broken and discarded every single bit of furniture. All that remained was Megatron, hooked up to his eating chair as Jhiaxus manned the pumps. This wasn’t exactly normal, as fueling tended to take a few minutes, and Jhiaxus seemed bored. It looked as if they had been there for hours, with Megatron staring directly at the wall while Jhiaxus wrote elaborate libel and sent it to blogs that criticized the Ascenticon movement from his datapad.

“No, Strika, you may enter.” Megatron waved a hand to greet his general.

  
Strika turned to the seeker trailing behind her, “I am not sure if I want to, Lord Megatron. Acid Storm, we are dismissing ourselves.”

  
Before her leader could respond, Strika slammed the button to shut the door.

  
“The fuck was that?” Acid Storm looked to the general.

  
“I believe that was Lord Megatron being fed.”

  
“Why?”

“Are you asking me to understand the complex motivations of our Lord Megatron? He has his reasons. I’m sure he is, on some level, playing a multidimensional scheme we are too stupid to understand.”

  
Listening to the Ascenticons dismiss themselves, Jhiaxus finally looked up from his obsessive writing-and-sending to glance at Megatron’s tube setup. The energon flowed something gelatinous, bubbling and glowing softly as it entered Megatron’s shitty metal body.

  
It filled him, much like Megatron was being filled, with a strange fluttery feeling. Jhiaxus immediately assumed death had come to claim him.

  
“Megatron, I need to go speak to Shockwave. I feel like I’m going to die watching you.”

  
“Then speak, Jhiaxus. Be free to share openly your fatality.”

  
“I have no idea what you just said but I’m taking it as a ‘yes’.”

* * *

“Shockwave, I’m dying.” Jhiaxus barged into the laboratory.

  
“Thank Primus, my prayers are answered.” Shockwave groaned as he lifted himself from his desk chair.

  
“Megatron is killing me. I look at him and feel like I will soon be dead.”

  
“As do I.” Shockwave motioned for Jhiaxus to sit at the work table, using it as a makeshift meeting area, “What does dying feel like?”

“Fluttery, bubbly, as if I could ascend right here and now.”

  
“That’s not-That’s just enjoying Megatron’s company.” Shockwave blinked, “I thought you liked Strika. You look at her all the time, is it perhaps jealousy?”

  
“I don’t like women.” Jhiaxus shook his head.

  
“Ah. Because you only have eyes for Megatron.”

  
“No, I just don’t think women should exist. It’s not relevant, I just like reminding people.”

  
“Your inherent disdain for females aside, you are describing romantic attraction. It is, unfortunately, not the same as you dying. What you are feeling is the sensation of loving, perhaps just liking, Megatron.” Shockwave rubbed the sides of his head to alleviate a headache.

  
“So watching Megatron be pumped full of energon ISN’T killing me?” Jhiaxus seemed to relax.

“Watching-You were doing what? You were doing what when this feeling began?”

  
“I was manning his feeding tubes.” Jhiaxus explained, “We are superpowering him to kick your ass.”

  
Shockwave’s eye closed to a thin line, and he made an agonizing noise.

  
“Jhiaxus, sometimes I sit here, and I think to myself how much I wish you were dead. And here, right now, as you describe whatever fetish you’re developing, I want nothing more than to attend your funeral.”

* * *

Megatron was still staring at the wall. The tubes had long been suspended, and if he had even an ounce of functioning motherboard in him, it could have easily been excused for formulating an evil plan.

Strika and Acid Storm returned, with Strika sighing in relief that it was finished when they arrived.

  
“I fixed the mission consoles.” Acid Storm grinned, “And I have good news about hot singles in your area, Megatron!”

  
“I have no need for hot singles. The only hot single in my mind is Jhiaxus.”

  
“I did not ask-You’re just gonna say that without prompting, are you?” Acid Storm looked to Strika, who did not react.

  
“Jhiaxus?” Strika finally said inquisitively, “The feeder?”

  
“That’s unrelated.”

  
“I’m having a hard time believing that this has nothing to do with Jhiaxus pumping energon into your body so you could get Shockwave’s ass.”

  
“It has nothing to do with it. Strika, tell him it has nothing to do with it.”

  
“Lord Megatron, it sounds like it has everything to do with-“

  
“Strika, you can stop telling him now.”

I’m gonna be real I cannot fucking stand writing this for any longer so youre getting it as is, if for some god foresaken reason you want more of this tell me i cannot fucking continue


End file.
